This is day three of the exile (can it really have only been three days? I can hardly believe it). Today I escaped into the wider world, which was about as frigid as anything can be in W. New York at this time of year. I think my hands near froze off on my way up to the library. But I managed to have a fairly productive morning looking at Keener's commentary on the gospel of John, which is wordy as anything, but full of good information. I honestly wished I had more time to spend with it, but it was hard to focus b/c I didn't get to bed until late last night and I had to be up early to go to the library this morning, so I was definitely falling asleep while reading. Not as bad as usual, but still I was glad when lunchtime was over. I will have completed almost all the research that I need for this fine paper just in the past few days if I stick to my plan. I rarely stick to my plans, but hey, a girl can dream. Today I actually got a ton of stuff done. I worked on all these applications for things and I wrote some poetry (basically crapful, but I'm still trying to tackle the whole formal poetry thing and it was better than last time, so I suppose I shouldn't complain. I also got to watch Rush Hour at lunchtime, which was quite a nice change of pace from all these movies I have been watching about death and war. I mean, there is a lot of death in the movie, but there's also a lot of great comedy, which makes up for it somehow. I thought of you a lot Hope, but I couldn't get a hold of you this afternoon by phone, so I had to content myself w/ our movie instead *tear*.
Anyway, all of that is superflous, here is the real news. I am becoming acclimated to my state of exilic solitude to the point where I am actually enjoying it quite a bit. This is, of course, a sure sign that my brain is going soft, but it makes everything in the immediate present fairly enjoyable, so I will ignore any potential long-term effects. But, for example, I get to play my music as loud as I like. Today I was singing a long to "War" at the top of my lungs, which I can do b/c hey, who am I going to bother? And furthermore, I have to say that I have been cooking the awesomest, tastiest meals for myself lately, not that there's anything wrong with the food that I eat normally, there's just something about still taking the time to cook something tasty, even if it's only for yourself. But the real sign that my mind is going round the bend is that I now talk to myself quite freely and openly. I find myself, as I have always expected that I would, to be an excellent conversational partner. It is grand to finally have some company again (aka-the sound of my own voice) after this time alone. I have a glimmer of hope that perhaps I might be able to become a decent hermit after all. I think honestly, it is just finally starting to sink in that there is, in fact, no one else here, so I can do what I want and not have to worry about looking dumb. Hooray, inhibitions are gone. Bring on the madness. All things considered, I think we should all be glad that I'm not doing anything worse than talking to myself and singing too loud and laying around reading Real Simple in the middle of the afternoon. Think of all the others things that I could be doing w/ my social inhibitions gone...
Monday, February 27, 2006
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Castaway
Year:2006
Day: Unknown
Month: Unknown
How long have I been stranded in this god forsaken place...has it been weeks, or months? Perhaps even years have passed since I was marooned and left for dead. The monotony of every day being so like the others makes me lose all track of time. The food supplies are running low, the oats are almost entirely gone. There is enough for one spoonful a day for perhaps two more days, but after that...well, I don't know, I shall have to begin to forage in a more feral manner. But what I miss most is not the life that I dimly remember without the constant ache of hunger in my belly, but the sound of human voices and the sight of human faces. I fear I shall die of madness from this dreadful solitude long before I am claimed by hunger or thirst. As more and more days past my hopes of rescue grow thinner and thinner. Soon I shall have no choice but to surrender to the great, aching emptiness of the wilds...
Ha, ha, okay, so that is mostly just silliness on my part, but it is, alas, silliness that is based in reality. I have been stuck townhouse bound for the past two days, like I have literally not stepped out of the door. I have not really talked to anyone since then, except when my dad called until the phone mysteriously cut out on me and I couldn't get him back...oooh, spooky. Also, there is plenty of food and I have done quite well for myself scavenging around the house, but the sad fact is that the oats are almost gone and when that happens I am not really sure what I shall do, as I am not altogether certain that I can live w/o oats. If you want the back story to all of this, I was supposed to go to my Aunt Linda's house for break, decided at the last minute that it wasn't going to work out, and so I decided to stay on campus during Feb. break, which is a WEEK LONG and I'm going nuts already. Don't get me wrong, I've had about as much fun as anyone can who is quite entirely all by herself and I've been very productive working on things like papers and what not. But I am totally, totally sick of being all by myself. Life's just no fun w/ nobody else around. Fortunately tomorrow I get to spend the morning at the library doing more work, which is going to be boring and suck generally, but at least there I have the hope of seeing another human being! I think of this as like, hard core monastic solitude, which has proved to me that, in spite of how much I've always talked about it and said I'd like to do it, becoming a hermit is absolutely 100% not the life for me. I would suck at being a hermit, so, okay, that's out of the picture. One less potential future to mull over. Fortunately too, Thryn and Jeff should be coming back to campus in a few more days to end my purgatorial suffering.
Really, when you ignore my intense boredom (funny how I can keep as busy as I do and still feel bored, just b/c there's no human stimulation around) this is like an ideal situation. Spend a few days working hard core so that a lot of work actually gets done, then goof off with my friends for the last bit and get virtually no work done at all. Maybe. The thing that I keep thinking of, the thing that would happen if my life were a movie life and not my life, would be that a huge blizzard would hit the day that my friends planned on coming to get me and I would be stuck here all alone, not just for this week, but for much, much longer, and I would have to find a way to rally all the others who are stuck in Houghton and we'd have to make an awesome trek to find food and warmth, one the blizzard knocked out our power. And the trek would be long and terribly dangerous, and basically everyone would die except for me and some boy I'd randomly find myself in love with, after we began the trip as bitter adversaries who couldn't agree on anything. And he'd risk his life to save me and prove his love for me, maybe even multiple times, and maybe, if it was a really modern movie, I could reciprocate by risking my life to save his, but we'd both end up okay in the end, and then we'd live happily ever after and be on the first plane to Arizona or Brazil or some other really warm place. Too bad there is no Arizona, that would be quite the disappointment for us, wouldn't it? Then I guess it's a good thing my life is just my life where I happen to be stuck in my boring and creepily noisy townhouse for a few days, and not some stupid movie.
Seriously, though, this whole solitude thing is starting to mess w/ my head a bit. I can see going crazy really quickly if I was ever to be lost in the woods for weeks on end or something like that. Funny how even one other person can make the difference in a situation like that. Anywho, I'm going to go back now to babbling and drooling while curled up in the fetal position (or go do some belated work for my poetry class, whatever). Night, all!
Day: Unknown
Month: Unknown
How long have I been stranded in this god forsaken place...has it been weeks, or months? Perhaps even years have passed since I was marooned and left for dead. The monotony of every day being so like the others makes me lose all track of time. The food supplies are running low, the oats are almost entirely gone. There is enough for one spoonful a day for perhaps two more days, but after that...well, I don't know, I shall have to begin to forage in a more feral manner. But what I miss most is not the life that I dimly remember without the constant ache of hunger in my belly, but the sound of human voices and the sight of human faces. I fear I shall die of madness from this dreadful solitude long before I am claimed by hunger or thirst. As more and more days past my hopes of rescue grow thinner and thinner. Soon I shall have no choice but to surrender to the great, aching emptiness of the wilds...
Ha, ha, okay, so that is mostly just silliness on my part, but it is, alas, silliness that is based in reality. I have been stuck townhouse bound for the past two days, like I have literally not stepped out of the door. I have not really talked to anyone since then, except when my dad called until the phone mysteriously cut out on me and I couldn't get him back...oooh, spooky. Also, there is plenty of food and I have done quite well for myself scavenging around the house, but the sad fact is that the oats are almost gone and when that happens I am not really sure what I shall do, as I am not altogether certain that I can live w/o oats. If you want the back story to all of this, I was supposed to go to my Aunt Linda's house for break, decided at the last minute that it wasn't going to work out, and so I decided to stay on campus during Feb. break, which is a WEEK LONG and I'm going nuts already. Don't get me wrong, I've had about as much fun as anyone can who is quite entirely all by herself and I've been very productive working on things like papers and what not. But I am totally, totally sick of being all by myself. Life's just no fun w/ nobody else around. Fortunately tomorrow I get to spend the morning at the library doing more work, which is going to be boring and suck generally, but at least there I have the hope of seeing another human being! I think of this as like, hard core monastic solitude, which has proved to me that, in spite of how much I've always talked about it and said I'd like to do it, becoming a hermit is absolutely 100% not the life for me. I would suck at being a hermit, so, okay, that's out of the picture. One less potential future to mull over. Fortunately too, Thryn and Jeff should be coming back to campus in a few more days to end my purgatorial suffering.
Really, when you ignore my intense boredom (funny how I can keep as busy as I do and still feel bored, just b/c there's no human stimulation around) this is like an ideal situation. Spend a few days working hard core so that a lot of work actually gets done, then goof off with my friends for the last bit and get virtually no work done at all. Maybe. The thing that I keep thinking of, the thing that would happen if my life were a movie life and not my life, would be that a huge blizzard would hit the day that my friends planned on coming to get me and I would be stuck here all alone, not just for this week, but for much, much longer, and I would have to find a way to rally all the others who are stuck in Houghton and we'd have to make an awesome trek to find food and warmth, one the blizzard knocked out our power. And the trek would be long and terribly dangerous, and basically everyone would die except for me and some boy I'd randomly find myself in love with, after we began the trip as bitter adversaries who couldn't agree on anything. And he'd risk his life to save me and prove his love for me, maybe even multiple times, and maybe, if it was a really modern movie, I could reciprocate by risking my life to save his, but we'd both end up okay in the end, and then we'd live happily ever after and be on the first plane to Arizona or Brazil or some other really warm place. Too bad there is no Arizona, that would be quite the disappointment for us, wouldn't it? Then I guess it's a good thing my life is just my life where I happen to be stuck in my boring and creepily noisy townhouse for a few days, and not some stupid movie.
Seriously, though, this whole solitude thing is starting to mess w/ my head a bit. I can see going crazy really quickly if I was ever to be lost in the woods for weeks on end or something like that. Funny how even one other person can make the difference in a situation like that. Anywho, I'm going to go back now to babbling and drooling while curled up in the fetal position (or go do some belated work for my poetry class, whatever). Night, all!
Friday, February 17, 2006
Hello, my apple-berry plumcakes with almond jelly beans...
This blog is beginning to fall into a lamentable state of disrepair. And by disrepair, I mean, I don't post as often as I should. Ah well, there are worse crimes...perhaps. This too, will not be a true and for real life post. I would just like to say that I am crazy busy and yet, still doing reasonably well. That could all change in this last week before break, since like EVERYTHING is going to be due this next week. But after that, break, and then everything will be good again. Here is what I am doing this semester:
Learning flags/preparing dances for chapel a couple nights a week
Participating in SGA meetings on Tuesdays as Junior class Chaplain
Attending Prayer Leader Meetings/Dancing for One Thing 2 hrs on Weds.
Prayer Leading or Assistant Prayer Leading at One Thing on Thurs.
Co-leading a Bible Study and Going to corporate worship on Fri.
Going to Menno group every Sunday
In addition to all of this, I am taking fifteen credits worth of classes (including the poetry class from Hell) and auditing one additional class as well as managing all the homework that these classes entail, trying to exercise 3x a week, working at the library, trying to remember to eat well and wash my face twice a day, and trying to maintain something that resembles a normal spiritual/social life. And oh yeah, sometimes I like to try to get some sleep, you know, in the night times. So if you're wondering where I am, I am probably engaged in one of the above activities.
This, despite how you've probably taken it, is not to complain, I am doing great and am reasonably happy and even reasonably (albeit probably foolishly) free from stress. This is just to give you an idea of what's on my plate this semester. It's a full plate, but at least it's full of tasty things.
Learning flags/preparing dances for chapel a couple nights a week
Participating in SGA meetings on Tuesdays as Junior class Chaplain
Attending Prayer Leader Meetings/Dancing for One Thing 2 hrs on Weds.
Prayer Leading or Assistant Prayer Leading at One Thing on Thurs.
Co-leading a Bible Study and Going to corporate worship on Fri.
Going to Menno group every Sunday
In addition to all of this, I am taking fifteen credits worth of classes (including the poetry class from Hell) and auditing one additional class as well as managing all the homework that these classes entail, trying to exercise 3x a week, working at the library, trying to remember to eat well and wash my face twice a day, and trying to maintain something that resembles a normal spiritual/social life. And oh yeah, sometimes I like to try to get some sleep, you know, in the night times. So if you're wondering where I am, I am probably engaged in one of the above activities.
This, despite how you've probably taken it, is not to complain, I am doing great and am reasonably happy and even reasonably (albeit probably foolishly) free from stress. This is just to give you an idea of what's on my plate this semester. It's a full plate, but at least it's full of tasty things.
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