"For them that go down to the sea in ships..."

Well, this is it folks. Tomorrow we leave for our big luxury trip on the great tin ocean liner. For those of you who haven't already heard, my family and I are going on a cruise this summer as our big vacation-type trip. Yippee. Well, anyway, I just wanted to make this post as a precaution in case I never come back. You know how it is when you go out on the ocean. Anything could happen to you. The ship may be attacked by a group of desperate pirates. I may be taken prisoner and have to beg for my life. The capitan may take me on as a cabin boy, and tell me every night, "I'll most likely kill you in the morning." By the end of that internship, I'll likely be a most excellent pirate. Or, on the other hand, the whole ship could just sink right down into the ocean and we could all just bob around in the frigid waters of the Western Carribean until we are rescued, though half of us may have frozen to death by that point. Or, the rest of the ship may try to maroon me on a tiny island and I'll have to fight for my survival until I can ride away on a raft of sea turtles that I lashed together with hair from my back. Or, the whole ship may crash and we may all end up on an entirely different island and either run away and join the local band of gypsies or have to duke it out for survival and pick each other off one by one. Everything of real interest, you see, happens by the sea. So I should be a great deal happier to head down there, I guess. In any case, if any of those things happen, you will probably never hear from me again. I just wanted you all to be prepared. I miss you all very much. Adios.