A Jot

So, I do still have thoughts about good old WAH. Actually, it's a thought, a final little thought, and unlike Eldredge I will put it in terms of my personal experience rather than that of all women in all places and all times forever (modernist!). One of my favorite lines from this book is, "You'd have to admit that a Christian woman is...tired." I relate to this so much, in fact it's probably what I related to most in the entire book, in speaking not just of Christian women but of many women's experience. But for me, the reason behind it is this: I am really, really stupid when it comes to letting anyone help me with anything ever. A lot of times I find myself carrying a lot of burdens (in terms of workload, chores, busyness, whatever) but I would never dream of sharing this with someone and asking for help. I either think, Oh, I can handle this on my own, or I somehow expect the other people around me to know that I need this kind of help (the latter I find most infuriating). Then I get a bee in my butt because I'm supposedly handling so much and no one is stepping up to help me or even really taking notice. Clearly, if the people surrounding me were truly caring and supportive, their telepathy would kick in to circumvent this. So I get a chip in my shoulder and take up even more of the burden to justify my new position as martyr: "Well, fine, I guess I'll just handle this too since nobody else seems to be willing to do anything. Not that they would do it as well as I would anyway. I guess I just have to do everything around here. That's fine, that's the way it always ends up, isn't it? In the end, you're alone, just you against the world. Well, fine, I don't need anybody anyway."

In terms of general competancies, I feel like I've proven myself pretty well. I know that I know how to mow the lawn, hang a picture, fix the toilet, check the oil in my car, teach someone how to ride a bike, fix most problems with an average printer, and even how to build a fire without starter fluid and how to build a shelter in the woods out of found materials. (Yeah girl scouts!) So I feel like there is no doubt that I am able to do these things. So I guess my hope is that I would not be threatened if someone (man or woman) were to offer to do them for me? Sometimes, like most humans, I want to be big and strong and save the day and do the thing and show that I've got what it takes; and sometimes, like most humans, I just want someone else who's willing to take care of me. If I could let them. We'll see.

So my conclusion is that yes, women are tired, and I would chalk some of that up to the passivity of men and I applaud old John boy for encouraging them to take initiative and be actively looking for ways to help others, but I would also say that people like me, particularly women like me, need to learn to be able to ask for help.

Phew, that it is, I promise. (I think.) Seriously, I am so tired of talking and writing and thinking about this book. But, wait, now people might actually start reading these posts and want to object to what I've said and then I'll have to defend it and we'll have to discuss...crap. Oh well. But at least you, oh internet universe, will not have to put up with more typings on this subject matter from me. Unless somebody makes some really good point and I need to clarify my position. Or if somebody makes a really bad point and I want to anonymously make fun of them. Or if I just feel like it. So don't think of it as a promise, think of it as a highly conditional statement that makes no guarantees about future events.

But, before I close the door on Wild at Heart, I thought some of you might like a fair, enlightened evaluation of the book and its effects from someone who was not me, so I have provided you with a link below to a helpful and informative article from "a good source for Christian news." Enjoy, my little scallops... :-)

http://larknews.com/february_2005/secondary.php?page=3

Yours captivatingly,
S.