Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die

There is much to report after this tumultuous week. However, all of that gets put to one side to report that I have finally landed on my new e-mail address. That's at least one less thing to worry about. Like all truly great moments of inspiration, it was a truly obvious solution, beautiful in it's simplicity. The account is all set up, so any time you want to drop me a line, just write me at...wait for it...drum roll please...what? You think I'm just gonna hand out my e-mail address online? I'm not stupid, you know! Fortunately, it's set up so that it forwards from my old account, so if you want the secret revealed, you can just e-mail!

Speaking of communication, I wanted to take a second to say how sad I feel that I haven't had sufficient time to write to those of you who have already written. The week that I got back I was trying to get settled and then this whole past week I've been doing VBS at church. I thought that I would have more time to get things done in the evening, but I was completely exhausted every evening. So, I have grieved in my heart about not being able to reply to any of your wonderful communications. I will worn you right now that the next week does not look promising. We're heading out on vacation tomorrow and we won't be back for a week. But, don't feel bad if you think I'm neglecting you. I'm also not finding a job, not writing my support letter for missions, and not writing the thank you notes for the profs who helped me with my honors project which wrapped up in April or some of those who gave me graduation money. Yeesh. How am I gonna relax with all this hanging over my head, I'll never know.

So how was the VBS? Well, it was...something else. I feel like any experience you end by getting a cold/flu/allegy thing is an experience where some things should have been different. I have to say, somehow it was really, really difficult this week. The most difficult ArtReach yet, in fact. Everything seemed to be so hard, just getting out of bed and going in the morning seemed to be difficult. The kids were difficult, staying up and cheerful all the time was difficult, being what felt like the only person willing to be a disciplinarian was difficult. I swear, sometimes I felt more like a prison warden than a kid's camp worker. It's hard to enjoy yourself when you feel like you're just there to keep control.

This might sound a little strange, but the hardest day for me was definitely Thursday, the whole salvation message, gospel preaching, sports themed tracts day. It brought a lot of questions to the fore for me, about the nature of salvation and how it should be presented to kids. Ever seen the documentary Jesus Camp? It wasn't like that this week, but I feel like that movie is so important because it is a stark reminder of how easily children can be manipulated. Maybe we have this idea that they are young and pure and innocent which enables them to accept Christ because they haven't got our barriers. Maybe it's easy for them because if you put an idea in their head they want to go with it, they want the pat on the head, the comfortable feeling of having done what's expected. And then there's the whole content issue, the old ABC's of salvation that we tote out year after year with tons of people and have printed on God only knows how many pieces of literature. Is that stupid thing even biblical? I am so far from thinking that this is the preferred method of teaching people, I am not even sure that it could be legitimate. How could there be this one way that every one is guaranteed to get in if you say these exact words? Doesn't that smack far more of magic than religion, let alone relationship and life transformation? Is that all there is, admitting and believing? Could that alone get you into heaven? Does it even matter, in that case? Is it possible that these young kids could really even understand what is meant by sin? And, there were two kids in my group who went off with the volunteers to accept Jesus, but I feel almost positive that one of them was just going because his friend was going. He didn't even raise his hand until he looked up and saw his friend going off, and then suddenly he wanted to become a Christian. How could that be a functional method of inducting people into the church? Didn't Jesus himself say something about counting the cost?

And yet, at the same time, I don't want to say that Christianity is not for children, that it is something that is only for those who can grasp it rationally. And it seems that there should be something simpler for children, perhaps simpler is not the right word, but obviously you can't really explain anything to a kid the same way you explain it to an adult. But I feel like the way that you would explain something to a kid is actually very revelatory, because it shows you what you hold to be most important in whatever you're trying to get across. You can't really hide your agenda among complexity the way you can when talking to adults (academics in particular). I guess what I'm trying to get at is that it's all very well and good to say let's throw out the Roman's road, ABC's, little formulaic method of salvation, but what is the alternative, for adults or for children? Once again, I have no answers. And you, think about this seriously! No fortune cookie friends, no easy answers!

Let me know when you've solved it. We'll have a race. Winner gets a ticket to heaven...
S.